Anything for love.

I’ve been in love before, it’s like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day you want more. You’re not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minutes then forget them for three hours.
But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for Continue reading “Anything for love.”

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i miss it.

because you’re a different person.
because you don’t feel the same way anymore.
because we’re growing apart more every day.
because i’m scared to tell you how i feel.
because i think you’re only staying since it’d be easier than leaving because you tell me you love me but i don’t feel the same want and warmth now.
because i cried and begged and poured my heart out– left everything out on the table and you ignored all of it so easily.
because i think i’m being crazy and insecure and imagining things, but am i?

how did we go from laying in bed with my face buried in the nook of your arm, crying while you held me and told me things would be different this time. that it would be hard but you wanted me and us and a future together. that you loved me and we were partners and we would grow through life.

now i’m laying here wondering why i even told you what was bothering me. you brushed it off, made me feel like i was Continue reading “i miss it.”

Loving Me.

Loving me isn’t just telling me about your day
Loving me isn’t just telling me that you miss me
Loving me isn’t just telling me that I look pretty
Loving me isn’t just spending time with me
Loving me isn’t just having sex
Loving me isn’t just buying me things

Its deeper than that

It’s about wanting to share your experiences with me
It’s about wanting to see me whenever you can
It’s about seeing the flaws in me and still think I’m perfect
It’s about enjoying my company when Continue reading “Loving Me.”

Tomorrow.

Ahh.. My love.
Where has the time gone.
Just a moment ago I was taking in your scent in the backyard of your house.
With you looking down and exposing your nape,
I drowned myself in your scent just behind your ear as I held your body close to mine.

God forbid that intimate moment.
But surely, the angels will forgive.

But now,
I’m stuck with the thought of you.
Your absence makes my heart ache.
Sure it’s winter,
But the cold winds could never reach the deepest parts of my heart.
No, not like how your absence freezes my soul.

In time, I will see you.
But that day is not that day. Continue reading “Tomorrow.”

Choosing love.

I learned more about love in those few months than I leaned on my entire life. Not the kind of love you have for your family, your friends, the people you look up to. The kind of love that makes you go “Oh, I kind of want to spend my whole life with you”. I also learned the hard way what “heart pain” is. Most of the days were fine, even great I would say, it was good to feel everything, it was good to feel a love I never felt before, it was good to have someone. But truth is Continue reading “Choosing love.”

Lost & Insecure.

Because you’re a different person.
Because you don’t feel the same way anymore.
Because we’re growing apart more every day.
Because I’m scared to tell you how I feel.
Because I think you’re only staying since it’d be easier than leaving because you tell me you love me but i don’t feel the same want and warmth now.
Because I cried and begged and poured my heart out– left everything out on the table and you ignored all of it so easily.
Because I think i’m being crazy and insecure and imagining things, but am I? Continue reading “Lost & Insecure.”